Mark Arbib (NSW, Australian Labor Party, Minister for Sport) Share this | Hansard source

Mr President, I seek leave to make a statement about my imminent retirement.

Leave granted.

So far this final speech is going much better than my first speech. Just seconds before I rose to give my inaugural speech, my speaking notes disappeared miraculously, leaving me with a heart rate of about 180 beats per minute. Thankfully, my good friends and TWU colleagues Senator Sterle and Senator Hutchins took pity on me and returned my notes with seconds to go! I thank Senator Sterle for showing restraint today, although I know that if Senator Hutchins were here with him they would be egging each other on to try to embarrass me!

Today of course I rise to give my final speech to the Senate and to the Australian people. I do this with great pride and in the knowledge that I have set a world record for being the shortest-ever serving Manager of Government Business in the Senate, a total of seven days. As anyone who has served in this job would know—particularly now-smiling Senator Ludwig, and Senator Fifield—it is a record I am very happy to hold, given the extreme work demands around the position.

Unfortunately, due to the work commitments of my wife, and because my kids are at school, they are unable to attend today. That is good news for Senate security, because I remember in my first speech my six-month-old daughter was making such a racket that they tried to turf her out of the building, and my wife suggested to the security officer—and it probably was not appropriate at the time—that he jump off the balcony! So security officers can relax today that my wife and child are not here.

There has been a great deal of speculation about my future and everyone is looking for the bombshells. Can I say, the reasons for my resignation are in my statement and I can assure everyone that I am not leaving this chamber to go Summer Bay for Channel 7.