Mary Fisher (SA, Liberal Party) Share this | Hansard source

The members opposite have no answers—and I rise to take note of the nonanswers given in question time today and to note that all this government is doing is dancing a dance. Our Prime Minister is dancing a very merry dance, at the behest of the Greens and to avoid calling a tax a tax. She is dancing a very merry dance to try to deny that she has broken a promise that there would under her government never, ever be a carbon tax. We might as well do the hokey pokey again on a dud of a policy that is all pain and no gain. It is bereft of detail; it is a total dud. All it will do is distort the market. It is bereft of details. Is petrol in or is petrol out? You put petrol in, you take petrol out. You put petrol in and you shake the tax about. You do the hokey pokey and—ooh!—you turn right around. And what happens when you turn right around? You are back to where you were before: all pain, no gain. As Senator Furner said, it is as useless as an ashtray on a motorbike. The government’s carbon tax will surely be that, and as useless as tits on a bull. The analogies are endless.

The Minister for Finance and Deregulation, Senator Wong, said that the carbon tax is all about the future. No, it is not. We are in a time warp. It is like the ETS all over again. It is a dud of a policy. You have released it without detail. It is all pain and no gain. We might as well do the Time Warp dance:

It’s astounding;

Time is fleeting;

Madness takes its toll.

So let’s do the Time Warp. You might as well take us back to the time of the ETS with this carbon tax, because that is what it is—‘Let’s do the Time Warp again.’ It is, after all, ‘just a jump to the left’ and then a ‘step to the right’ as this government moves us closer and closer to a carbon tax. The government jumped to the left and said, ‘We’ll never have a carbon tax.’ The government then stepped to the right, because now they would have us believe that that which was wrong before apparently—a carbon tax—is now right. Now it is right to have a carbon tax.

So put your hands on your hips—and this is where it gets good; we are supposed to believe that—because the Prime Minister, hands on hips, is going: ‘Tut, tut, tut. It’s not a tax; it’s a scheme. It’s a market based mechanism.’ Call it what you will, it is a tax. A tax is a tax is a tax. So:

Put your hands on your hips.

Bring your knees in tight.

The Prime Minister is going to have to do that. She is going to have to bring those knees in tight, because Minister Wong has conceded that yes, the carbon tax will increase prices; it will increase costs. Bring your knees in tight. The government might as well confess a carbon tax will increase petrol prices at the bowser. Once the Australian people are aware of the increased prices at the bowser, bring your knees in tight. Some of that excess money will be siphoned offshore for the government to deliver on the UN pledge for developed countries to subsidise developing countries to save themselves on climate change. But it is the pelvic thrust:

But it’s the pelvic thrust

That really drives you insane.

It is the pelvic thrust. It has to be parliamentary. The Prime Minister wants it to be.