Three years ago I travelled to Wangaratta to join Helen Haines for a meeting with her arts community to discuss our National Cultural Policy that had just been launched earlier in that year. Like me, Helen has a passion for the arts and recognises how fundamental it is to the health and wellbeing of her community. She celebrates those who have the gift and desire for creative pursuits, and she wanted me to hear directly from them. I was very happy to do so. During that visit, I saw how connected Helen was with her community, respected by all and loved by so many. I can imagine the pain her community will be feeling in the aftermath of the shocking attack on her and the questions they will want answered about why and how it happened. My community shares their distress. As I was travelling around the Blue Mountains, the Hawkesbury and Emu Plains at the weekend, my constituents shared their dismay at the horrific attack, and their thoughts were squarely with Helen, Phil and their family.

While excerpts of question time capture the media's attention and land in people's living rooms and on their social media feeds, one of the unseen parts of this place is how we engage across the aisle with MPs from other parties. Helen and I found many common areas of interest early on in her time here, as others have expressed a similar experience. Our husbands are lucky enough to have the flexibility of age to be present in Canberra more often than some others, so they can spend time with other partners.

While time for socialising is limited in sitting weeks, as we all know, I think we all enjoy the occasional moments of being in the same place at the same time, even if it's just for a quick check-in chat. We don't usually make speeches about this sort of thing in this place, but perhaps we should so people know how we really operate. It demonstrates our ability to discuss and disagree, to have things we don't agree on but other things that we do. Today is an opportunity to acknowledge the relationships that evolve across party lines and across this chamber. It's also a day to send our very deepest wishes to Helen, Phil, the kids and grandkids and Helen's team, both paid and unpaid, for the very best recovery possible. Helen, your empty seat weighs heavily on all of us in this parliament.

How does the parliament respond to such a horrific attack? How does the wider community react? It's telling that the heightened security warnings that we've been receiving over some time mean that, while we may not be surprised that there's been a horrific attack, there is absolute shock. In the decade I've been here, my team and I have seen an increase in the expression of aggression and have seen aggression more often spill over into threats of violence. As many have said in parliament today, there should be no green light for violence in any part of our society. In fact, this Westminster system is designed to reduce physical violence by creating a space where rigorous and robust debate can take place. I acknowledge the role that the Speaker has played in ensuring the ground rules for debate in this chamber are adhered to. It's time for us all, every Australian, to check ourselves so that we have strong and robust debate without being nasty, mean or cruel to others, without demeaning people and without inciting violence. Whether it's teachers or nurses, shop assistants or flight attendants, professional referees or youngsters refereeing at the weekend, no-one should be abused for doing their job and no-one should experience violence.

I love engaging with my community. I enjoy the disagreements as well as the agreements. I love working through complex issues, hearing new insights or arguing using facts and logic. Those discussions often don't end in agreement. I've frequently said to people who live in the Blue Mountains, the Hawkesbury and Emu Plains that I don't expect us to agree on everything. In fact, it would be strange if we did. I comment that I've been married for nearly 40 years, and I still can't get my husband to agree with me on everything, and that's okay. Let's allow space for disagreement that still includes respect, integrity, kindness and compassion. We look forward to seeing Helen back in this chamber, demonstrating those very qualities that she has in spades.