House debates

Thursday, 2 December 2021

Statements by Members

Morrison Government

1:38 pm

Photo of Josh BurnsJosh Burns (Macnamara, Australian Labor Party) Share this | Hansard source

I present to the House the 12 scandals of Christmas: 2021 edition.

On the first day of Christmas the PM backed his mates, only picking fights with premiers of Labor states. On the second day of Christmas the PM copped some flak. He said we were at the front of the queue, but we were really at the back. On the third day of Christmas the PM left us cross. He said it wasn't a race, but it was and we badly lost. On the fourth day of Christmas the PM tipped the scales. Victoria would have to wait for vaccines; he sent ours to New South Wales. On the fifth day of Christmas the world was left perplexed when he picked a fight with the French and leaked their private texts. On the sixth day of Christmas the PM rocked the boat with a Trump-style attempt to suppress the number of votes. On the seventh day of Christmas he said showing ID is a must, unless it's a donation to a minister's blind trust. On the eighth day of Christmas the PM searched for backers by giving his sympathy to violent antivaxxers. On the ninth day of Christmas he played some more repeats, wasting millions on car park rorts that were only for marginal seats. On the 10th day of Christmas he threw up a distraction: a shiny new pamphlet to cover up eight years of climate inaction. On the 11th day of Christmas he really wasn't shy; he told us on the radio he'd never told a lie. On the 12th day of Christmas there can be no more doubt: it's time to throw this rotten, tired Morrison government out. Merry Christmas.

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