House debates

Tuesday, 5 December 2017

Bills

Marriage Amendment (Definition and Religious Freedoms) Bill 2017; Second Reading

8:22 pm

Photo of Emma McBrideEmma McBride (Dobell, Australian Labor Party) Share this | Hansard source

The marriage equality postal survey asked just one question: 'Should the law be changed to allow same-sex couples to marry?' The Central Coast said yes, and very soon I will vote yes. As an individual and a friend and supporter, with a strong belief in equal rights, I believe this change has been a long, long struggle. I am someone who has worked in mental health for 15 years and witnessed the effect of inequality on individuals in the LGBTIQ community and those they love. This change must happen.

Much has been said in this debate, and the time I have I am giving to my friend Josh, who has travelled from the Central Coast to be here today. Many people know Josh as a producer, director and one of the driving forces behind our dynamic youth theatre company Jopuka Productions. Josh's passion is to tell other people's stories, in their words, to give young people on the Central Coast, in our community, a voice and for our local stories to be heard. Now, with his permission, I'm going to tell Josh's story, in his own words. Josh has two mums—his birth mother and her partner of 15 years. In 2011, after several years fostering two girls, they became one of the first same-sex couples to adopt in New South Wales. Joshua says:

My sisters and I have known nothing but love, support, and compassion in our home. Our mothers have provided us with everything we could ever need.

They are quite possibly the strongest and most loving couple I've ever known.

Two strong women who have given everything to ensure my sisters and I know we are loved, cared for, and safe.

The only negative I've found so far having 2 mums is being stuck in an endless loop of "go ask your mother."

In August, following the announcement of the marriage equality postal survey, Josh wrote to the Prime Minister about the effects the postal survey could have on children in families like his. He said:

I was brought up to accept individualism; from a young age I had a strong understanding that each human is different, and this is what makes us all unique and special. I was never ashamed of my parents, I just didn't see any reason to be. When I first started at my new NSW school, people asked about my family and I would reply, "I have two mums who I live with, a birth father I choose not to see, and a stepfather who is my dad." It was simple for me and many of my peers to comprehend at age 10.

But it hasn't always been easy, and not everyone always got it.

When an episode of Play School aired in 2004 featuring a girl with same sex parents … I thought I finally had proof of just how normal my family was.

  …   …   …

My parents did their best to protect me from the true extent of the national backlash, but they couldn't be in the classroom, and children can be cruel, even if they don't do it consciously, or even understand what they are saying. Conservative media outrage about a play school episode on inclusivity—

followed shortly by the Howard government's Marriage Act amendment to exclude his parents—

formed a sea of radio sound bites, news headlines and dinner table buzz-topics, all projected into the playground via the prism of preteen understanding. As the child of gay parents, I suddenly became a trip wire for all of it.

That set the tone for my teenage years. I was bullied for things that other kids are bullied for, such as … being the teacher's pet, but every time issues of equality came up in the media, it felt like someone had just hit 'repeat' on all that bullying.

However hurt I got, however upset I got, I never stood down in my support for my family, and others like us—

or in the fight for his parents to gain the same rights he would be granted by default when he turned 18. He continues:

It's the torch I still carry. I'm tired, it's heavy, but the flame is far from out. I still hope I'm a guiding light for other young 'gaybies' in regional areas, living in communities in which their existence may go unnoticed, or worse, noticed and unwanted.

Prime Minister, you've given us one of the longest campaign times in Australian history, and unlike an ordinary election where many issues are up for debate, the entire nation is focused completely on one issue, every cent of funding, every bit of energy, every fiber of people's beings are being channeled into 'yes' or 'no.'

You've re-created what I lived as a young child, however unwittingly, but this time you've placed it inside an envelope and stuck it in every mailbox, and there are going to be gaybies going to school over the coming months who will be subjected to the same bullying, incubated with the same warped access to the debate, that the kids at my primary school had.

Sadly some will say this letter provides more evidence that gay people can't and shouldn't raise children, it does neither, it's not the children's fault, or the parents', or even the bullies'. It is yours, Prime Minister; you have opened the floodgates once more to an avalanche of hate, with what appears to be little thought to the people, especially the children, who are on the receiving end.

Josh says when he posted this letter online he didn't expect many people to see it. It reached over two million people. Unfortunately, the debate wasn't always respectful. Josh received several death threats. I have heard from people whose windows were broken, and whose letterbox was vandalised and stuffed with anonymous and vile letters because they put up a marriage equality poster. As Josh says, those people who did such things got a vote, too. It was an ordeal that so many should not have had to endure, but our community's voice has been heard.

It's time to remove discrimination from the Marriage Act. I am proud to represent my community in this parliament and to support this bill on behalf of the 118,164 people on the Central Coast who, just like Josh, said yes to marriage equality. To those in my community who wrote to me or spoke to me about their concerns, I have listened. It is important to note that this bill both expands equality and protects religious freedoms. I am optimistic that all Australians will soon be able to marry the person they love in the country they love.

Josh's mums have been engaged for 13 years, but they have never allowed themselves to contemplate any serious wedding plans, wanting to wait for the law to be changed. But 15 November changed this mindset. While they haven't locked in a date, they finally have real grounds to look at plans seriously, knowing the law is days away from being changed. It's a time of tremendous joy within their immediate and extended family. This change is symbolic for Josh's mums in that it will celebrate not just their future but the past 15 years of partnership and combined love for their three children. I respect and admire gaybies like Josh for standing up for their parents' rights. I wish all rainbow families of the Central Coast and across Australia love and equality in the years to come. I commend the bill to the House.

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