Helen Polley (Tasmania, Australian Labor Party) Share this | Link to this | Hansard source

Here we go again—divorce No. 2 for the coalition. Clearly, they both have their divorce lawyers on speed dial! And it's been a bumpy ride. But wait—there is hope. Apparently, they were having amicable talks to get their toxic marriage back together, even though Mr Littleproud said just last week that the Leader of the Opposition, Sussan Ley, could no longer be leader if the coalition were to get back together. There's nothing like nasty divorces! Marriage counsellor No. 1, Mr John Howard, entered. He has probably been on the phone to Ms Ley every night this week and, I'm sure, during the day as well. Now I understand that Mr Barnaby Joyce's number has been deleted out of most of the Nationals' phone contacts, but I hear that One Nation has been acting as marriage counsellor No. 2, trying to woo Nationals to defect to One Nation. There's never a dull moment in this place.

Just when you think the Liberals and the Nationals no longer have any electoral credibility, three men come riding in on their white horses—or was it a white RAV4; I'm not really sure. The Liberal boys got together on the morning of the funeral for one of their former colleagues. They met to divide up their world—that is, the Liberal Party—to decide who would be the next ruler and to decide when they were going to bump off the very first female leader of the Liberal Party. Now, colleagues, we just have to wait and see what wedding date they set. I wish the new union to be months of wedded bliss. But while they keep fighting on the other side, the nation-building is being done by the— (Time expired)