Wednesday, 28 October 2020
Statements by Members
Australians are waking up to this Prime Minister from marketing. He loves announcements, but he never delivers what he promises. His favourite thing is the tacky marketing names for his programs. 'I've a cunning plan, Baldrick! I'll say 'job' a lot and then people won't notice that I don't actually have a jobs plan. I'll rename Newstart JobSeeker. I'll repackage my $3 billion TAFE cuts as JobTrainer.' The budget, though, gave us JobMaker, which the Prime Minister claims will create 450,000 jobs. Except Treasury told the truth: it'll only create 45,000 jobs—10 per cent of the Prime Minister's spin. He should rename that one 'JobFaker'.
If the Prime Minister weren't such a fake, we'd get more honest names. 'MateKeeper' would be No. 1—his program to keep Liberal mates and failed politicians close by stacking them onto boards. That's what Australia Post is for, right? And so are ASIC, the AAT and all the embassies—to give Liberal mates something to do. Once you're on 'MateKeeper', though, if you're really lucky, you'll be eligible for 'KeepMating'. That would not be a new policy for the baby boom; 'KeepMating' would be the honest name for their favourite mates on 'MateKeeper' who get the extra bonuses—Cartier watches, hotel suites and free rent. The Liberal Party could just be called 'MateTrainer'. As Angela tweeted:
And I can't wait for them to announce #HouseKeeper for all the women that end up jobless because this repulsive government had a #MorrisonRecession and a #BlokeyBudget
The Prime Minister from marketing is a nasty fake, and Australians deserve much, much better.