Dan Repacholi (Hunter, Australian Labor Party) Share this | Hansard source

I rise today to speak on a matter that is confronting, urgent and unavoidable. I speak as a man, as a father, as a representative of my community in the Hunter and as Special Envoy for Men's Health. Today I acknowledge the women, the men and the children who lost their lives to domestic, family and sexual violence. I acknowledge the survivors, who live with the trauma every single day. I acknowledge the families, who carry grief that never fully leaves them. If we are serious about ending domestic, family and sexual violence, men must be part of this conversation—not on the sidelines, not defensively and not pointing fingers somewhere else. Men must stand up, take responsibility and do the work. Real change happens when men are willing to look honestly at themselves and say, 'The violence must stop.'

As the Special Envoy for Men's Health, I've been working with the Domestic, Family and Sexual Violence Commissioner. It's great to have an opportunity to speak on the yearly report. I want to thank Commissioner Micaela Cronin, her team and the Lived Experience Advisory Council for their rigorous work, their honesty and the insistence that we move beyond words into action.

This report makes one thing painfully clear. We do not lack evidence, recommendations or an understanding of what works. What we lack is speed, scale and the courage to change behaviours that have been normalised for way too long. From a men's health perspective, this matters deeply. Violence is not only a justice issue and a safety issue; it is a men's health issue. Because violence is learned, violence is reinforced and violence is repeated. And violence destroys lives on every side of the equation.

The report tells us that nearly one in three men self-report having used some form of violence against an intimate partner in adulthood. That statistic should stop every man in this Chamber in their tracks. It stopped me when I first read it because behind that number are real people, real harm and real consequences that unfortunately last a lifetime. The truth is this: the reality is that the overwhelming majority of domestic, family and sexual violence is committed by men. Until men are willing to confront that reality honestly, we will never break this cycle. But here is the other truth: men are also capable of change. Men can be protective, respectful, caring partners and fathers. Men can model healthy relationships. Men can actually ask for help. Men can learn new ways of dealing with anger, fear, shame and stress. That is where men's health intersects directly with violence prevention.

For generations we have taught boys that strength means silence, that emotions are weakness, that asking for help is a failure and that control equals masculinity. Those messages do real damage. They damage mental health, they damage relationships and, in the worst cases, they escalate into violence. The commissioner's report is clear that prevention must begin in childhood. That means teaching emotional literacy alongside literacy and numeracy. It means helping boys understand their feelings, communicate safely and build respectful relationships from the very start. It means breaking the intergenerational cycle before it hardens into behaviours.

The evidence is powerful. Men who grow up with positive father figures who show affection are almost 50 per cent less likely to use violence as adults. That is not a soft statistic; that is a road map. This is why engaging men and boys is not optional; it is essential.

The report calls for a national coordinated approach to healthy masculinities, and I could not agree more. Healthy masculinity is not about taking something away from men; it is about giving men better tools—tools to manage stress, tools to regulate emotions and tools to be better partners, fathers and mates. When we invest in men's mental health, early intervention and behavioural change programs, we are not excusing violence; we are preventing it.

The report also shines a harsh light on the role of technology in modern abuse. Coercive control no longer stops at the front door; it follows people through phones, apps, smart devices and other online spaces. Young men are being targeted by online misogyny and radicalisation that feeds resentment, entitlement and dominance. If we do not meet that challenge head-on, we will be dealing with the consequences of this for decades. That is why action on online harms matters. That is why restricting predatory technologies matters. That is why teaching digital respect and accountability matters.

Through a men's health lens, I want to speak directly about seeking help. Too many men wait until they're in crisis before they reach out for help. Too many men bottle things up until the pressure turns into explosion. That pattern is dangerous not just for men themselves but for all the people around them. The report acknowledges that many men who use violence have experienced trauma themselves. That does not excuse their behaviour, but it tells us something important: if we intervene early, if we support men before harm occurs, we can stop violence before it starts. That is why programs that work with men who have used violence must be properly resourced, evidence based and held to national standards—not tick-a-box courses, not short-term fixes but real programs that challenge beliefs, build accountability and support long-term change.

At the same time, we must never lose sight of the victims and the survivors. Women, men and children must always feel safe. Holding those who use violence accountable and keeping victims safe are not competing priorities; they are inseparable. The report makes clear that children are not silent witnesses; they are direct victims. Exposure to violence shapes brain development, mental health, education outcomes and future relationships. If we want to stop violence in one generation, as the national plan commits us to doing, then protecting and supporting children must be central to every decision.

I acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women and communities who experience violence at profoundly disproportionate rates. The report rightly calls for shared decision-making, long-term investment in community controlled organisations and listening to voices that have been ignored for far too long. From a men's health perspective, supporting Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander men through culturally safe and healing programs is crucial. Healing men heals families. Healing families heals communities.

This report is not a comfortable read, nor should it be. It is a call to action. It tells us that instrumental change is not enough. It tells us that coordination, accountability and urgency matter. It tells us that engaging men and boys is not a side issue; it is central.

I speak directly to the men watching or listening to this debate: strength is not control. Strength is accountability. Strength is knowing when to step back. Strength is asking for help before you hurt somebody you love. Strength is breaking patterns that you inherit but refuse to pass on to others. If you are struggling, reach out. If you are angry, talk to somebody. If you are scared of what you might do, go get help now because real strength is choosing not to cause harm. As a parliament, we have a responsibility to act, to implement the commissioner's recommendations, to find what works, to hold systems accountable and to lead a cultural shift that says violence is never acceptable, never inevitable and never someone else's problem.

I also want to be clear that this work cannot only sit with governments or services. It must reach workplaces, sporting clubs, schools, sheds, kitchens across this country—the places where men spend their time, where attitudes are shaped, where behaviour is either challenged or quietly accepted. Every coach, every employer, every mate has a role to play in calling out harmful behaviour and backing healthier ways forward. Cultural change does not happen in policy documents alone; it happens in everyday moments when respect is modelled, violence is rejected and silence is broken.

I support the tabling of this report. I support its urgency and I commit to continuing this work through the lens of men's health because healthier men means safer women, safer men, safer children and stronger communities. We owe it to the next generation to do better than the last, we owe it to survivors to turn evidence into action, and we owe it to ourselves to be brave enough to change. I commend this report to the House.

Federation Chamber adjourned at 18 : 45

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