Matt Smith (Leichhardt, Australian Labor Party) Share this | Hansard source

I thank the member for Riverina. This is an area where there aren't enough masculine voices. This is a male issue, and men need to be heard. Men need to step up and take responsibility and accountability. I'm very proud to rise today on the statement made by the Minister for Social Services as she tabled the Domestic, Family and Sexual Violence Commission yearly report to parliament. Without this data, without these opportunities to speak, silence becomes deafening, and in some cases silence is lethal. It is hard for someone to admit that they are the victim of domestic and family violence. With it can come shame and embarrassment. It breaks people down psychologically. They don't know where to turn to for help. They don't know what services might be available. They might know the statistic that the first 24 hours after a woman chooses to leave are the most dangerous in her life. Friends of mine have not made it through that 24 hours. It is a scourge. It is a national embarrassment, and it is something that every single Australian has a responsibility to address, not just women.

When I go to marches and when I go to meetings, I'm outnumbered 10 to one, which is why I was so pleased to see the member for Riverina stand. It's why I'm pleased to see the member for Hunter further on the list, as well as the member for Menzies. It will be through the voices of men that we will impact the changing behaviour of men. We all—all men—have to take responsibility. The 'not all men' catchcry that rallied around for a while there—nuh-uh, all of us. There is no excuse. One in 11 men have copped to coercive control of a partner. If you have a cricket team, one of your teammates is that man. That is a frightening statistic. Those men inflict family and domestic violence on roughly 2.3 million women, a quarter of our population. There is, of course, female-to-male domestic violence as well. Some 693,000 men are a victim of this. There is no excuse. It does not matter. You're meant to love. Love is not violence. Love is not coercion. Love is not control.

In the far north, we have some horrific statistics. We are overrepresented. People look. They point to different things. Is it socioeconomic? Maybe that's part of the case, but then we know that domestic violence spikes during the NRL grand final, State of Origin and Christmas, so something else is going on there as well. We have to listen to the women, but it's time we start working with the men.

I attended a domestic violence seminar featuring Indigenous women from right across the cape who ran shelters and had been survivors themselves. They told some harrowing stories. One was of a woman who was so afraid she left her home in community and went and hid in the creek in the reeds with her children. That might seem like a reasonable thing to do in some parts of the country, but I know what lives in my creeks. She chose a crocodile over the man she was living with—a cold-blooded killer versus the man whose job it was to love and protect. That is the essence of what we're dealing with. Despite this, she sat, told her story and said: 'Help our men. Help our men be better. Our men are broken.' Men need to deserve that. You have to work to earn that kind of love. They want you to be better, so find a way. It's not just about shelters now. It's about finding ways to make sure that these men who are perpetrating can get the help that they need to stop it, finish it, be the men that the women in our lives want us to be. That's how domestic violence ends—when we as men become worthy of the women who love us.

This is not a political issue. It's a human issue. It has been great to have cross-party support for the initiatives to make sure that the $3.9 billion for the National Access to Justice Partnership—including $800 million for family violence, the largest amount invested in Australia's history—will be delivered, and that we can deal with high-risk perpetrators by investing over $82 million to detect, monitor and intervene earlier. We must stop it before these pathways get to a place where we can't return from. I've seen where those pathways end. I've spoken to the children. I've had to donate to GoFundMes. It is not something we should ever do.

Our community has a part to play in this. It can't just be speeches in this House. It can't just be the people who make running these shelters their vocation and their lives that find the funding, do the builds, offer the support, be that shoulder and give that confidence; it has to be every single one of us. If you see someone covering up harm, make sure they're okay. Have those gentle conversations to help break down those barriers and those stigmas. If you've got a mate who's displaying telltale abusive behaviours, help them change. Call them out. A dangerous thing to do is put them in a corner, because, when isolated and alone, they will lash out. Bring them back to the society that they should be a part of. Help them be better so that we can help our society be better, so that we can protect women and children.

I pay particular credit to those working on the front line, supporting those impacted by domestic and family violence—often survivors themselves who have dedicated their lives to the protection of others—whether it's working in emergency housing or refuges, counselling or supporting victims and helping them rebuild their lives. I say to them: your work is invaluable, your work is life-saving and you are all heroes who deserve more recognition. To take care of someone at their lowest point is a true honour, and you guys often do it in very-low-paying jobs away from the public eye. You make Australia better.

I say again that the vast majority of men are decent, but statistics tell us that those other men walk among us. It is up to us to identify them. It is up to us to help them change their behaviours. Nobody wants to be a perpetrator. Nobody wants to be a victim. But the perpetrators are the cause, and the way that we stop this is by stopping them; that may be through criminal intervention, but I'd much prefer we take care of it before it gets to that. I'm going to sound like a broken record: talk to your mates, understand the behaviours you're looking for, get them off these paths before they walk too far, make sure they are able to have those conversations and bring them back to where they need to be, and we will save lives. Ultimately, that is what we should be doing and that is what we should hope for.

Domestic violence will continue to have a devastating impact on communities right through my electorate and right through Australia until we all as a nation stand up and say, 'Enough.' When I go to rallies and it is a fifty-fifty split of men and women, and when men start taking this seriously as a men's issue being perpetrated on women, that is when change will come. I hope to be part of that change. I hope that, through my actions and through my work, I'm able to divert some of these men. I hope that young kids, through my work with them, can role-model a way of life. And I hope that next year, when we're having these conversations, there is a very different outcome for a lot of Australia's women.

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